A thought crossed my mind this morning and I said the words out loud – The Wild Creativity of Chaos. It got me thinking of the times in my life where chaos invited me to remain open, curious, and interested in what was happening both in my internal and external landscape, at a time I wanted to constrict, curl up, withdraw, and give up.
At times I long for order, predictability, structure, planning and that sense of knowing all is well, that I am safe, and I am resourced and capable and in charge of my life. A part of me knows this is an illusion and another part of me needs to know I have some autonomy.
The times of chaos have been uncomfortable, anxiety provoking, frightening even. Uncertainty is unsettling and calls to the deepest part of me for trust. Trust that I am ok and that all is and will be well. Trusting a process of unfolding is both terrifying and freeing.
Chaos requires patience, a sitting into the unknown. In the messiness of life situations and circumstances, relationships, love, and loss, surrendering to the outcome is required and this is threatening to our need for control. I agree with the many known philosophers who agree that growth comes from chaos and not order.
Messing up, a breakdown of communication and connection in relationship with self and with others, being vulnerable, admitting mistakes, acknowledging inadequacies and destructive behaviour brings with it the gift of shared humanity and the realness of being human. It also feels unfamiliar and threatening.
The most chaotic times in my adult life have been times of loss and change, times when who I perceived myself to be as a person was challenged, times when difficult work and personal relationships left me disturbed and full of self-doubt, and times when I blamed myself for letting others down or caused unnecessary suffering to others were painful to hold.
Times when I was forced to face my inadequacies, limitations, and vulnerabilities and eventually come to terms with the ‘darker’ aspects of my personality, were both frightening and exciting in equal measure.
From the space and place of allowing chaos, even welcoming its unavoidable presence, there will be a percolation of imagination of possibilities and potentiality. The creative process is always alive, waiting to be harnessed, waiting to be seen, heard, felt, and activated.
In chaos we are forever changed. There is a call to a different way of being, living, working, relating. There is an opportunity to re-assess, evaluate, reflect on the deeper meaning of life, our needs, and wants. There is a spiritual emergence, and a transformative energy is at play.
Like the snake shedding its skin, the phoenix rising from the ash, there can be a burning of the dross, a letting go of limiting beliefs, mine and others, and a realisation of possibilities and probabilities, a sense of freshness and new beginnings.
There is the ignition of dreams, the fanning of the flames of a better future, and the dance of life with its richness and ecstasy, sorrow, and scarcity and within it all, is the wild creativity of chaos and its lessons of patience, resilience, flexibility, and adaptability. Above all the wild creativity of chaos supports our development and expansion as a human being. Friedrich Nietzsche wrote “One must have chaos in oneself to give birth to a dancing star”. The founder of Psychosynthesis, (a transpersonal approach to therapy and healing) Roberto Assagioli, is remembered for his ideas that there is no such thing as certainty only the adventure of uncertainty.
– Christine Moran
ICPPD’s CPD, Certificate in Psychosynthesis for Professionals will commence in January 2024.